No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
