is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
