nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
