Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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