I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
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she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
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Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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