I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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