i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
