And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
