its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
