His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
