My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize