Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
