Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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