peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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