I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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