where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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