she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
