Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
