I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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