I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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