On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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