super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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