Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
