ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
