definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
