So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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