Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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