you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
