ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
