I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
my poor anus
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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