Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
