somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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