It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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