My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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