Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
