no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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