very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize