can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
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I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps