In America we eat man semen.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
