i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
