I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
