I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
