Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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