just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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