I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
