you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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