handjob tips. give me some.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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