Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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