Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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