used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
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I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
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You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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