hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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