im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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