I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
