my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
When are your genitals available?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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