Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
