i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
