Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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