sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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