She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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