There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
