We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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