Need sex. Gaining weight.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
