we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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